Yes indeed, it’s that time again, and in honour of this momentous occasion, Out On Blue Six presents five amazing facts you never knew about Britain’s favourite defunct provider of third rate sub-Amicus/Hammer horror flicks:
- despite winding down operations in 1976 for absolutely no suspect reasons whatsoever and subsequently having a nice day out at the seaside with a vicar (we will of course not be naming the vicar), the Tyburn Films name was briefly revived in 1984 for a project entitled Batty!, a movie based on the incident in which popular puppet rodent Roland Rat was hit with a cricket bat; this failed to get off the ground when the film was seized before production as a ‘Video Nasty’, though it was later released as a blank disc in a box set of former Nasties alongside Threads: Just The Swearing, Ghostwatch Smeg-Outs and some bloody ITV wartime drama that even Network considered ‘too obscure’. Lawyers have asked us to emphasise that Tyburn Films were never involved with any prospective films about erstwhile celebrity puppets.
- in 1972 Tyburn Films were the recipient of a prestigious ‘Uncle’ award, given out by Fans Of The Silents in recognition of contributions to the genre, in response to their soundless presentation of Frank Zappa’s over-droned-on-about concert at the Royal Albert Hall where he phoned Mary Whitehouse and called her a “Swizzlewick silly” or something, which many noted was vastly improved in the absence of the audio track, though this has posthumously been withdrawn after it was discovered that the master tape was recently recorded over with the Supergrass ‘mockumentary’ Glange Fever, and the original was unable to be recovered even from an off-air recording retained by superfan Ian Levine. Lawyers have asked us to emphasise that Tyburn Films have never even met Frank Zappa and were on holiday when it wasn’t made.
- amongst numerous Tyburn Films projects that were abandoned during production were Mutiny On The Pipkins, Eli Culbertson Vs. Pterodactyls, The Furious Windcheaters!, Spangles Galore and The Waltham Green East Wapping Carpet Cleaning Rodent And Boggit Extermination Association Live At Somewhere They Couldn’t Fit This Billing Onto The Marquee. Lawyers have asked us to emphasise that Farewell To John Denver has been removed on legal advice (and also because it wasn’t funny).
- the Wikipedia page on Tyburn Films is one of the most rigorously maintained on the whole of the site; moderators waste no time in removing unverifiable claims that the company existed, operated in the early seventies and made films, while ensuring that vital information such as “Tyburn Films is not to be confused with Milburn, who worked in the cafe on Last Of The Summer Wine, which sounds a bit similar” is always present and correct. Lawyers have asked us to emphasise that [CITATION NEEDED].
- Sendhil Ramamurthy, TV’s Mohinder from Heroes, considers Tyburn’s output to be “full of exemplary acting”. Lawyers have asked us to emphasise “Sylar!” in a ‘shocked’ voice.
YOU LIAR. YOU DIDNT SEENED IT. I TOLD YOU ABOUT IT AND THEN SLOMANS SAID “OH THOSE FILM TRIMS!” WE ALL LAUGH ABOUT IT NOW (NEVER)
Honey Monster will sue.